Apollo

Today marks forty-three years since Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed the Lunar Excursion Model named Eagle on the Moon, with astronaut Michael Collins orbiting in the Command Module Columbia above.

"That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind"

The Apollo program has always utterly fascinated me, with the Apollo 11 mission being my favorite. It was the shortest of the moon missions but arguably the riskiest. Today, so much time has passed that many are skeptical that it even happened. This is a shame because our successful flights to the moon and back represent one of the greatest achievements of mankind.

Also shameful is our 40-year absence from the moon. Why did we stop building wonderful machines that can take us to the moon? When will we go again? I would go today, if I could. First I would get on the top of a big old Saturn V stack, way up at the top in the Command Module, just me and two of my homeboys strapped in real tight.

Taller than the Statue of Liberty and carrying over 5 1/2 million pounds of fuel, the Saturn V remains the most powerful rocket ever built.

At liftoff, the amount of thrust generated by the five F1 engines making up the first stage is just incredible. My buddies and I are in for a serious ride. The beginning of the flight is not so bad, the rocket just barely countering the effects of gravity on my massive space ship. But soon enough we start to feel the effects of four times normal gravity. Now I am pretty susceptible to motion sickness so I am having a real hard time here. I try to shake it off and before you know it we are on our way to space!


Apollo 11 Saturn V Launch (HD) Camera E-8 from Spacecraft Films. This was filmed at 500 frames per second so it seems like it's in super slow motion, it is actually 30 seconds of flight time.

BANG! The explosive bolts fastening the first stage to the second stage fly away from the rocket. We are traveling at 6,000 miles an hour but that is still not fast enough! We need to get all the way to the MOON! The second stage has five J2 engines and will get us to over 15,000 miles an hour. BANG, BANG! I drop the second stage and now we're burning fuel in the third stage, it only has a single J2 engine but that is more than enough to get me to the moon.

This shows the first stage of the Saturn V rocket falling away from the rest of the spacecraft.

I burn some fuel and maneuver my spaceship into low Earth orbit. This is a well known part of space, we have been tooling around up here for a good 40 years since Apollo and the place is pretty crowded. There are a lot of military, communications, and weather satellites, many tons of space junk and -- wait, what's this? The International Space Station? Hello, friends! I can't stay long to talk because I am on my way to the MOON! I check out my space ship, and everything looks great. This is one of the finest examples of engineering ever created and I can't wait to re-ignite that J2 engine.

After checking on the spacecraft to ensure nothing was damaged by liftoff, the third stage rocket is re-ignited, providing all the thrust to take us to the Moon.

Translunar injection! At just the right moment I fire up my rocket and escape Earth's gravity for my flight to the moon. I am real psyched to spend four days in close quarters with some good friends. They are all about the mission though, which I respect so much it brings a tear to my eye. It floats away like a little bubble in zero gravity. My homeboys start giving me that weird look and I get down to business myself.

It's hard to take pictures of spacecraft in flight, it would require a manned spacewalk or else the release of camera equipment outside the vehicle. This model shows how the extraction procedure works.

Can I just tell you how much I love the transposition, docking, and extraction maneuver performed in the Apollo missions? This is where I gently release the third stage. We are moving away from Earth at many thousands of miles an hour, but we in the Command Module are at rest in relation to the rocket behind us. Carefully, I turn the module around using its little jet thrusters. The third stage is wide open, and inside is not one but two spaceships, connected to each other. I dock and then slowly pull the Lunar Excursion Module from the third stage.

Prior to Apollo, moon missions were often depicted as showing a rocket leaving Earth, landing on the Moon, and then the same rocket leaving the Moon and flying back to Earth. This technique is impractical, requiring an exponentially larger amount of fuel and many more rocket stages than Apollo.

Once I have the LEM safely away from the third stage, I turn around and continue my trip to the moon. It takes a while and the Command Module is close quarters but we get there just fine. Attached to the back of us is the Service Module, which contains the restartable rockets we need for our flight home along with our supplies. One of my buddies takes over flying the Command Module and my other friend and I climb into the LEM. We undock and now comes the exciting part.

Here is Apollo 11's Eagle on the way to the Moon. The LEM was an extremely reliable vehicle, having zero mission failures and providing an emergency shelter for the crew of Apollo 13 when the life support systems in the Command Module failed.

When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, he did so after rejecting his original landing site, cruising over the surface of the moon and touching down with just seconds of fuel left. Mr. Armstrong's courage, quick thinking, and cool handling of an incredibly dangerous trip into the unknown make him a true living legend. He is incredibly modest and today he downplays his contribution to human history, but he should always be looked up to as a true hero by all Americans and people everywhere.

On my flight, I rely on my advanced flight computer to track the best path and take us down. I'm not afraid to say I am not anywhere near the pilot Neil Armstrong is and I want to get my LEM down safe.

It's not pretty, but it's pretty awesome.

WE DID IT! I try and hug my friend but he kind of ducks me and makes way for the space suits. We each get suited up and he makes his way out the door. I head out right after him and motion to him to snap a picture.

Removing my visor in the dead vacuum of space was not the best idea.

I collect a contingency sample of moon soil so I won't go home empty handed. We spend a few days on the moon, eating delicious astronaut ice cream and a variety of freeze dried meals. I find myself spending a lot of time looking back at planet Earth. Earthrise is heartbreakingly beautiful. Seeing our planet, and everyone we know, everyone who ever lived except for us, a tiny, blue, beautiful disc in the sky. I feel overwhelmingly grateful to be alive, for life itself, to live on this tiny planet, the only place habitable for life we can see for light years all around us.

The moon, as Buzz Aldrin said, is "magnificent desolation". There is nothing there. To live there, we would have to transport millions of tons of supplies and find at least a minimal supply of native water. "One day," I say to myself determinedly. We get back in the LEM, the landing gear of the descent stage of our sturdy little ship now becoming a launch pad for the ascent stage. Its tiny rocket has no problem escaping the moon's weak gravity and we head back to the Command Module.



"What took you so long?" jokes our now-bearded Command Module pilot. While we were messing around on the moon he was busy orbiting. Each time he went behind the moon he lost contact with Earth, with everybody. I think a lot about Michael Collins up there, so close to the moon but knowing all along he would not touch the surface. I would have traded places with him in a second, to experience the magnificence of the Moon up close and to contribute to the most significant mission our space program has ever undertaken.

We drop the ascent module back onto the moon, adding it to the wrecked ships from the Apollo 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, and 17 missions. We orbit for a while and then fire up our engines for one last big burn, the trans-earth injection. It's bittersweet for us, we are definitely looking forward to getting home but a piece of us will remain on the moon forever.

As we approach Earth, we release the Service Module which has brought us home from the moon. We brace ourselves for our landing. The Earth's atmosphere heats up the Command Module but our heat shield works perfectly. We get close to Earth, dump the heat shield and release the huge drogue parachutes to slow our descent.

Splashdown! The Command Module floats to the surface and we are picked up by a nearby ship. I think of my father, who served in the US Navy on the USS Hornet and was part of the crew that picked up the Apollo 11 astronauts after they successfully returned to Earth. Even though we have had our differences over the years, I have always been somewhat in awe at his brush with the greatest moment in space history.

As soon as I complete my mandatory physical I start making plans to go back. Oh how I can't wait to go back!

Why haven't we ever been back?

The Apollo Missions are utterly fascinating to me, I recommend the following two books for anyone interested in learning more about this incredible achievement.

This book is written by the Apollo 11 astronauts and contains their own recollections of the mission as well as many interesting stories about their trip to the moon and back.

This book by Brian Floca is aimed at young people but frankly the illustrations of the many complex steps involved in a Moon mission and exciting accompanying text make it the best, most concise explanation of Apollo 11 I have seen.

I love space museums and anything to do with the Moon, here are some photos from my personal collection.

Here I am next to the Apollo 8 (first manned lunar orbit)  Command Module, at Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry

Here I am next to the Apollo 11 (first moon landing) Command Module "Columbia", at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington DC

This is me underneath a model of the F1 engine, the Saturn V first stage had five of these to lift the huge stack off the ground.

Here I am posing pointing to the Apollo 11 landing site on a large model of the moon outside of Mission Space at EPCOT Center. Gary Sinise appears in a video warning folks with motion sickness that they should not go on this ride. But, I had read that Buzz Aldrin himself said this was the most realistic simulation of space flight he had ever experienced. So I went against my better judgment and jumped on.

This is me a few hours later, suffice it to say I did not have a successful mission and in fact I more or less ruined the spacecraft. They didn't have enough barf bags on our mission. I had to buy all new clothes, as you can see my good friends were incredibly sympathetic.

It only got worse for me at EPCOT, here I am nearly getting run over by Mickey Mouse's bus.

And what about the "conspiracy theory"? That is was all fake?

We went to the moon six times. We will go again. The evidence is overwhelming; a million people saw Apollo 11 take off from Cape Canaveral. So if you don't think we went to the moon, I hope Buzz Aldrin punches you in the face. Believe me -- he will.

You Didn't Build That

Mitt Romney is trying to regain some traction on his increasingly unsteady campaign by selectively misquoting President Obama. Last week, the President made this statement while speaking to supporters in Virginia:

"If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business. you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen."

On its face this is a factually true statement and speaks to the President's larger point which is that  government investments in infrastructure have created millions of jobs. Businesses are able to leverage infrastructure investments they would not have been able to fund themselves, and we all benefit.

The Romney campaign has latched on to the second part of the quote -- "If you've got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen." By cherry-picking these sentences, they are hoping to paint President Obama as anti-business.

This is dangerous territory for Romney. Obviously anyone reading the full quote in context will realize that Romney is lying about what Obama said and what he meant. Beyond this, however, Romney is drawing attention to the essential elitism of the Republican Party.

Republicans believe in their heart of hearts that business owners are better than the people they employ. This deeply felt sense of superiority permeates every Republican policy proposal and legislative agenda. It is seen in Romney's tax plan, which is designed to give the top 1% massive tax relief instead of benefiting the working class. It is seen in the worshipful designation of the ultra rich as "job creators", even though job creation is stagnant while corporations hold trillions of dollars in assets. And it is seen in Romney's insipid response to the President's statement: he genuinely believes that the holders of capital are the only ones responsible for a successul business.

To Republicans, business owners are kings of all they survey, and the people who work for them are meaningless, interchangeable cogs. Republicans don't want the government regulating their businesses in any way, even if those regulations protect the very air we breathe and the water we drink. They don't want workers to have any protection or recourse no matter how they are treated on the job. They genuinely feel that if a business is successful, no one can take any credit for that except the owner.

Entrepreneurs and creators of businesses deserve their due credit; many a sole proprietorship has become successful due to the owner working 80 plus hour weeks, living to support the business. And even in large companies with hundreds or thousands of workers, the direction and leadership provided at the top can make the difference between mediocrity and success. No one questions that. Where Romney is wrong is his failure to understand that capital alone cannot create business growth.

Without the contribution of the labor force, and without government investment in basic research and infrastructure, there is no way that the United States would be the top economy today. From highways to bridges to the Internet, from advanced research in health, science, and space technology to major improvements like rural electrification and universal public education, government does play an essential role in the success of the private sector. If we were to take away everything in this country funded by a government grant or built with government allocated resources, our economy would shrink to a fraction of its size.

Mitt Romney is wrong to attack the President for saying the simple truth: we are better off with government investment in growing our economy and we would be even better off to increase these investments. As President, Romney would happily continue the regressive policies that have left the middle class without a real wage increase for 30 years. To Romney, the middle class doesn't contribute to business growth, and the poorer classes may as well be invisible to him.

To Republicans, the working man is a leech on the wealthy. That is why Republicans work so hard to keep wages low and unemployment high. They are happy with a system that forces people to accept meager pay and unacceptable working conditions. They don't suffer from this system and they have no empathy for those who do. So long as the rich benefit from standing on the backs of the poor, they will never do anything to improve the system.

I hope that President Obama continues to highlight the difference between Romney's vision of economic growth and his own. President Obama has been stymied by the intransigence of Congressional Republicans in his goals of increasing investment. But if he can make this election a choice between Romney's modern serfdom and a return to the progressive model of shared success, his second term can focus on a new New Deal for those of us who get up for work each and every day and, yes, make the economy a success.

Mitt Romney may come to regret calling attention to his true feelings on the American system. You can get some traction on a throwaway line for a few days.

Sure it's out of context but even I can acknowledge this is a pretty hilarious picture

 But opening the door to a discussion of the benefits government investment has given this country is only bad news for Romney. 

The Hoover Dam? You didn't build that.

A spaceship that can land men on the moon and bring them back? You didn't build that.

The Eisenhower Interstate System? You didn't build that.

The B-2 bomber? You didn't build that.

The Internet? You didn't build that.

The Panama Canal? You didn't build that.

Only government has the capacity to make major infrastructure investments based on long-term social benefit instead of short-term profit. We can't count on the private sector to make these types of needed improvements, and, clearly, we can't depend on Mitt Romney to make them either.

Falsely, falsely, falsely outraged

Is Mitt Romney a felon, or a liar?

Mitt Romney claims he left Bain Capital in 1999, but he also signed SEC documents claiming he was the "sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president" from 2000-2002. He also received $100,000 salary during those years.

President Obama's campaign has rightly pointed out the discrepancies between these two positions. They want to pin Bain's massive outsourcing of American jobs to other countries in the early 2000's on Romney. In response, Romney claims it is "outrageous" for anyone to give him a hard time about lying about leaving Bain. But is it really outrageous? Truly, truly, truly outrageous?

No.

Truly outrageous

Falsely outraged

It's pathetic to watch the Romney campaign  petulantly beg for an apology. Do they really think this will work? To my mind, Romney cannot have it both ways. You can't leave a company and also be the sole shareholder, president, CEO and CHAIRMAN OF THE FUCKING BOARD. And if you can leave a company and still bring in a $100,000 salary, well, I'd like one of those jobs, please.

So let's start with this: Mitt Romney is a liar. Either he lied then, or he is lying now. By all accounts, Mitt Romney took an extended leave of absence from Bain in 1999 to run the Salt Lake City Olympics. Unless some evidence comes out showing he had an active role in Bain from 2000-2003 (and you would imagine a ripe email or damning fax or some such would come out if he really was running the show), I think he probably did leave Bain like he says now.

But what about those SEC forms? Why would you sign off that you are in charge when you know you are not? Why did Mitt Romney say he was CEO if he in fact was not? Why not sign a form that says, in fact, "I am on a leave of absence to run the Olympics" instead?

Mitt Romney lied on his SEC form. That is a felony and therefore, Mitt Romney is a felon. The sad thing is, this felony is not even the worst thing about him. I don't think he has what it takes to be President. His chamelonlike shifting of positions to suit whatever constituency -- or individual -- happens to be standing in front of him means that there is no real way to judge how he will lead in any particular situation. That's dangerous. From abortion, to climate change, to gun control, to gay rights, to any number of issues -- Mitt has frequently taken a strong position on one side, then the other.

This type of "flip flopping" used to be a major issue for Republicans. George W. Bush hammered John Kerry for voting for the Iraq War, then coming out against it. They showed an ad of Kerry windsurfing, the notion being he would be led "any way the wind blows" and was hence untrustworthy.

This was once considered the worst thing a Presidential candidate could possibly do

Like essentially every character flaw imaginable, for Republicans, "it's OK if a Republican does it." During the 2012 Republican primary, many of the candidates tried to use Romney's flip-floppery against him, but with the nomination more or less secure, you won't see too many Republicans complaining about their two-faced candidate.

I for one feel that changing a position based on new facts or a sincere consideration of changed circumstances is a sign of good character. But Mitt Romney doesn't seem to fall along those lines; he says whatever he thinks will get him elected.

The felony and flip flopping are bad, but what REALLY gets me is the $100,000 no-show job. I mean sure he SAID (under pain of perjury) that he was CEO, President, sole shareholder, and Chairman of the Board at Bain, but now that we know that was a lie, what was the $100 g's for? Does that happen a lot in the realm of impossibly rich overly entitled executives? It's no wonder the ultra rich have such a hard time understanding how difficult life is for the very poor. "Why don't they just get their venture capital firm to set them up with a six figure no-show job  -- that will leave them free to work on their golf game" and such.

Mitt Romney has always and will always live in this rarified fantasy world. He is incapable of understanding what life is like for the struggling middle class -- let alone the impoverished. It's like when George W. Bush first ran for political office -- he raised money by calling everyone in his dad's Rolodex and then he couldn't understand why everyone didn't do that. Romney can't and won't help anyone in the lower classes, because he has no perspective to understand what that is like.

The Obama campaign definitely needs to keep a focus on this issue, frankly I think they should send the SEC to ask Romney a few questions and if it leads to an indictment -- drop the hammer. Mitt Romney is a liar, that much has been established. Let's let a jury decide if he is a felon as well.

This site has a great catalog of Mitt Romney's ever-changing positions: 
http://www.mitt-flop.com/


This site has actual Mitt Romney flip flops for sale, which may be a bit of overkill:
http://www.themittflops.com/
 

Chili

One of the things about this blog I need to make clear is, it is really an open forum. I intend to cover all topics from the mundane to the frivolous to the super serious and greatly consequential.

Today I want to talk about chili.

I love chili, by which I mean beef simmered in a sauce of chiles, spices, onions, and other ingredients. When I make my own I use Carroll Shelby's Texas Chili Kit:

Mr. Shelby passed away in May. He was well known for his Shelby Cobra custom Fords but to my mind, his pimped out chili is what sets him apart. The proportion of cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper in his mix is just right for my taste. What I really like though is the extra packet of masa (cornmeal) flour, which gives the chili a nice thickness and a good corn taste throughout. If you use this mix, definitely add the big old packet of masa!

When I make chili I use a 2:1 ratio of beef to chiles, typically 2 pounds of beef and one pound of chilies. I use any and all kinds: jalapeños, cherry peppers, poblanos, habañeros, and bell peppers, removing seeds and membranes. I like mine fairly hot and I top it with shredded cheese and sour cream. A side of Fritos is a huge plus. I could eat it every day:

I like to make mine "two-beverage" spicy

As good as it is in a bowl it's even better on a hot dog with some cheese:

I guess I was hungry that day

When I make it, I fry up my onions and chile peppers and add some canned tomatoes. I fry up the beef in a separate pan (usually ground round although I have used finely chopped cube steak, flank steak, and sirloin). I add the beef to the vegetables, toss in the chili mix and some water and then the masa flour. I cook this until the beef is tender, usually an hour or two. It's so good and even better the next day.

I could try and make my own mix I guess but Carroll Shelby's works so well for me, I doubt I ever will. When I want homemade chili, I make it as described above. But frankly there is one other chili which I also love and is really the point of this blog post.

I love Hormel Chili. My favorite is With Beans but I also like No Beans, Hot, and Chunky. I love the pop top can they have now, it means I am 5 minutes away from chili any time I want. It's not super fancy but the taste is so good.

 

There is nothing wrong with loving it in the can

I know that when it comes to food, people can be real pretentious these days. It wasn't too long ago that people reacted to food this way:

But now, with the "foodie" movement, sometimes it seems that eating has become a contest of sorts. We eat less for our own sustenance and survival and more to show off our skill in finding the trendiest, rarest, least eaten foods on our planet. So now we can react to food this way:

 

I am not entirely against this; I like trying new fun foods and going to restaurants and trying different unique things to eat myself. And after all I did make chili and chili dogs, photographed them, and put them on the Internet. So I am not immune to or against "foodieism". What I don't like, though, is when people hate on food just because it doesn't allow them to be pretentious and superior while eating it. 

Hormel Chili is that type of food; it's chili in a can and doesn't try to be anything beyond that. But don't hate on it, because Hormel Chili has one unique characteristic that really does elevate it above its last-resort bachelor pad microwave origins.

It gives you the best farts. 

Whenever I eat a can of Hormel Chili (there are no Hormel leftovers in my house), I know it's only a matter of time before I start ripping the juiciest, most delicious smelling farts imaginable. It's true that the only farts we appreciate are our own. I don't go out of my way to smell my own farts necessarily, but after my Hormel Chili works its magic, I will lay down a good twenty or thirty great ones. They carry some of that classic Hormel smell (cumin mainly, possibly some other spices, and the beef), somehow it not only makes it all the way through my digestive tract but it comes out the other side in vapor form for all to enjoy.

I also find that the volume and sound of my Hormel farts are like none other. Hormel chili gives you satisfaction during its entire trip through your body, and how many other foods can claim the same? Hormel Chili is great, hate if you have to but deep down you know you want to fart like that.

I like all kinds of chili and I enjoy its taste and effects tremendously. Please let me know your thoughts and favorite recipes, I love to talk chili and again with an open forum we can get real about it.

Just what the Internet needs!

Did you know most blogs have an audience of ONE, the author? And 95% of all blogs ever started have been abandoned.

Well all that is about to CHANGE friend! I am here to kick off my open forum, a place where I can say whatever the fuck I want about whatever the fuck I want. I am including these f-words right in the very first post, to remind myself that this is an OPEN forum and no one should feel like they should self-censor themselves.

HA I am already having second thoughts, that is one RIPE word. My boy Gilley used to give me a ton of shit because I wouldn't wear this shirt in public:

I told him that it was just too much to put the word FUCK in people's faces even though the sentiment is still spot on. Instead, I put it on the Internet, which contains so much that is vile and obscene that my one little f-bomb couldn't add the slightest taint. 

So that is where I will kick this off, I feel that on Facebook I self-censor every post and it bothers me. I am very interested in finding my "voice" as a writer. I tailor what I write based on my audience. When I write for work I try to hit a very professional tone and never send anything untoward through my work email. When I write email among my friends (I have a tight crew of six friends with whom I have been engaging in an unending email dialogue for 15 years now), it's the opposite - I allow my free association of thoughts to come out however they come to me and never self-censor. On Facebook, I have to tailor what I say to a few hundred people ranging from bare acquaintances to close friends, with a good sampling of family members, my parent's friends, and friends of friends falling in between. I don't set out to offend people and I find I have to bite my virtual tongue twenty times a day. I am fine with that, again tailoring my voice to my audience.

The problem is I really want to have a place to put my real and true thoughts out there without worrying about the reaction it will cause. I mean that is no way to be in the land of the free and the home of the brave do you know what I am saying? So, right off the bat, if you do take offense, please don't read this blog.

WAIT COME BACK! Like I said this is an open forum, and by that I mean for everyone. If you take offense and you want to unload on me for it, you are very welcome to do so. If you think my opinions are wrong and stupid, well, open it up, friend. Just don't come in here with weak shit because I will call you out for it. Make sure you don't respond with any of these logical fallacies:

http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/

That is the worst. We need more open forums and places for protected, free, open speech but just because you have the right to free speech does not mean your free speech is right! Come at me with your hardest most impenetrable shit, please. Again if all you have is lame ad hominem attacks, by all means post them, just know you will be called out on your weak ass shit.

This blog is going to cover whichever topic comes to mind whenever it comes to mind, I am going to work on my "voice" here in public so hopefully it will improve over time as I get comfortable with it. Anyway let's talk, let's be friends and let's do as the Romans do and have a good old fashioned forum for open discussion.